Oh boy, let's take a trip down memory lane to 1985, a year when neon leg warmers were all the rage, the mullet was the coolest haircut, and a plucky plumber named Mario was just beginning to make a name for himself. Super Mario Bros., released by Nintendo on September 13, 1985, was a game-changer in the gaming world, and here's a comedic review to relive the magic of this iconic game.
The Mushroom Kingdom Awakens
The story begins with a plot more complex than a Shakespearean drama. Mario, an average Italian plumber with a serious case of short man syndrome, suddenly finds himself in a strange land called the Mushroom Kingdom. His mission? To rescue Princess Peach from the clutches of the evil King Koopa (or Bowser, if you prefer). With no explanation and a plot thinner than the hair on a Sonic the Hedgehog action figure, you're thrown into a world of turtles, mushrooms, and inexplicable bricks.
Graphics That'll Make You Question Reality
In 1985, the graphics of Super Mario Bros. were cutting-edge, and by "cutting-edge," I mean they had edges that could poke your eye out. It's all about those vibrant 8-bit pixels! The Mushroom Kingdom might not have looked very realistic, but it had charm by the boatload. A game where the clouds had eyes, the bushes hid secrets, and the waterfalls looked like overgrown wigs – what's not to love?
Music for the Ages
Now, let's talk about the music. Super Mario Bros. has one of the catchiest tunes in video game history. It's the kind of music that'll haunt your dreams, but in a good way. You've probably hummed it in the shower without realizing. Da-da-da-daaa, da-da-da-daaa! If Beethoven were alive in the 80s, he'd be composing Mario theme remixes.
Controls: Less Precise Than Your Grandma's Driving
Let's not kid ourselves; the controls were about as precise as your grandma's driving. If you wanted Mario to jump, you prayed to the gaming gods and hoped he'd cooperate. If he decided to make a suicidal leap into a pit, well, too bad. Mario's momentum could carry him to the grave faster than an overdramatic soap opera character.
Cheat Codes: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly
The world of cheat codes in Super Mario Bros. was like a back alley of secrets, and everyone wanted in. Want to skip to World 8-4? Try the secret warp zones! Or how about infinite lives? Just stand in the right spot and bask in the glory of 1-Up mushrooms. And then there's the infamous Konami Code, which didn't work in this game but somehow became the master key to unlock secrets in other games. What a wild, confusing world of cheat codes.
The Moral of the Story
Super Mario Bros. is a game that transcends the boundaries of time. It's like a fine wine – it only gets better with age. It's not about the cutting-edge graphics or the precise controls; it's about the sense of adventure, the nostalgia, and the pure joy of stomping on Goombas and rescuing princesses.
So, whether you're a gaming aficionado or a casual player, Super Mario Bros. 1985 is an absolute classic. It's a game that taught us that if you eat mushrooms you find in the wild, you grow bigger, and if you rescue princesses from castles, you get cake. In the world of gaming, that's as good a lesson as any. So, grab your controller, dodge those pixelated fireballs, and embark on a journey that will never go out of style. Super Mario Bros., you're still our number one plumber.
